I decided last year to make a swimsuit with size 10 crochet thread, a size 7 steel hook, and a lot of bravado. I have exceptionally fair skin, but I tend to wear SPF 50 sunblock, and I rarely get sunburned, so I made a gorgeous little experiment that a friend of mine found a cheap replica of at Wal-Mart this summer. This is absolutely unacceptable! I must have the most unique swimsuit on the planet! I require it! (lol)
*I figure, if I’m gonna make something that the corporate telepaths are just going to duplicate, I’ll make it a hard game to play. Not that there are any corporate telepaths, but seriously, have you ever wondered why, when you get a great idea, within a year it’s on the shelf at the local store, and you still haven’t patented it? That’s what I mean.*
I will probably come up with more and more swimsuit patterns, as long as I can find a cheap knockoff a year after I make it. This year’s pattern is a little more difficult than last year’s, but this year’s is actually going on the site, since the first experiment was what I refer to as (tactfully) Epic Fail! It needs a lot of reworking, and the liner needs to be entirely redone. The liner in this year’s pattern is so much easier to deal with, and the whole swimsuit works better than the last one. If I ever manage to fix it, I’ll post the pattern, after it’s been pool-tested.

I discovered that, while in the hospital with my beloved husband, in the cancer ward of the best hospital in the area, that the patients they admit regularly have no hair, caused by the chemo treatments they receive, and the hospital rarely has hats to give to them. So, since I had yarn, and I had time, (I spent over a month sleeping on one of those awful chair-couches) and I had the inclination, I’d make a few. I did. Many of them were the simple hat patterns I have posted on my hats page. Others were “grab some yarn and make a beanie” patterns. I did have lots of fun, and I have lots of leftovers for my son’s (age 2) twin-sized Scrapghan. It’s a work of scrap,  in the solid granny rectangle pattern. I found Michael’s had dollar yarn,and I used all of that I could get. I even found a pound of a garish (omg) orange, that will perfectly match his hair. So he’s a coppertop, and the orange is going to be the border color. I will take pictures, and publish them, but the pattern is so easy. Looks like I’m going to have to post the pattern as well, since I cannot find it for some silly reason. So, I encourage you, find a hat pattern you like, grab out that old yarn stash, or get lucky and find dollar yarn, and start crocheting. The hats only take about a ball of yarn, maybe 2 if they’re small, and half of one if they’re bigger. I made 4 from Tweedledee, and that was a little over half the skein. And I made 1 from Sugar’n'Cream, cotton, that one will take a little over a ball. So buy two, and hope for the best. Cashmere yarn, one ball, one hat. You get the idea. Hats are so easy, and fun to make. and so many people can benefit from it. One hour’s labor for a smile, and a guarantee that they’ll wear it with pride. I’ll take that trade.

Okay, I’m pretty sure I have learned that elusive pineapple technique. I’ve been planning to create a Pineapple thong, and I think I have it down in my head. I just gotta lay it out in thread now, and see if it’s what I really want, or if I have to rip it out and redesign. I’m pre-designing (yes, I made up another word) in my head a lovely pair of pineapple boy-shorts, and the matching ‘kini. Now all I have to do is finish my latest project, drag my ideas through the impossibles, and see if they measure up. The good thing about that is the level of impossibles drops every time I finish a project. You should see my other blog. It’s getting a bit wordy. So now, I’m running away for a couple days, to hunt down that blasted dress, hope the mousies haven’t found it before me, and take pictures of it and the kilt. And get these new patterns built. There is an art to making patterns. You have to know how to “read” your work, and count. Only to 9, though. (lol) I know I’m not good at counting, but I have been known to count all the way to 500 when concentrating and counting dcs (double crochets). I might actually get a “real pattern” up for that dress at some point. Until then, try your best, and crochet, every day. See you soon!

Okay, so crochet isn’t my only tranq. I’m addicted to blogging, and I have so many patterns I have worked on, and changed, and made over, and recreated, that it’s become a bit of a passion with me. I can’t lug my sewing machine around with me, with my current project(s) hanging off it, so I’m sticking to my hook. Smaller, by pounds. If you notice that your pattern is located here, and I haven’t given you  credit for the original pattern, please, let me know. I’m a little picky about giving credit where it’s due. I won’t take credit for a pattern that all I did was to rewrite it so non-morons could read it, (as in the case of one pattern-to-be) and I refuse to take credit for the snood patterns I didn’t write/create/design on my own. I used doily patterns. Muchas Gracias, CrochetPatty. They’re well-written, beautiful, and totally fun to make. So as soon as I get some pics made, I’m going to be uploading them, and you’ll be able to see what the rest of my tranq looks like. It’s a totally addictive sport, and my hands (riddled with arthritis from cracking my knuckles for so many years) have a great range of motion, as well as strength. Get addicted today!

I hate finding patterns I can’t use, patterns that have been badly written, and so many times, a pattern that isn’t there.  I hate more not finding a pattern for something I want, so I have to create that pattern myself.  I use many different techniques, sometimes have a pattern that calls for switching hooks in the middle, and sometimes I just don’t give a fig what the yarn’s (or thread’s) gauge is, I just start crocheting and don’t stop til the project’s done. I have a few oddballs, and I have reached the point in my crocheting life where I really don’t care what the rest of the world thinks of my projects, I just do them, and am very proud that I  can.  I have been crocheting about 12 years now, and I love it. It is my tranquilizer. So If you see a pattern you find offensive, gauche,  bourgeois, or just plain dumb, I really don’t care. I’m not taking it down. If you don’t like it, love it or don’t look at it.